Someone asked me this question a few Sundays ago, and it left me speechless- and if you know me, you would be surprised by that response.
Being struck mute is a rare occurrence for me.
However, I think this question struck a chord in me- for this journey of motherhood has pruned and shaped me in ways I never imagined.
It has revealed to me character in myself that is embarrassing and very humbling. It has shone a spotlight on areas of my life where I am selfish and immature- and my responses to people and situations reveal by own lack of love and mercy where others were concerned.
There are mornings when I am crying in disappointment for how I reacted to situations, and praying for God to change my heart, to transform me.
There are days when I have conversations with my children that fill my heart with so much joy I feel like it is going to burst. Tears come in those moments too- tears of gratitude for the bliss of just being with them.
Motherhood is a labor of love.
It is hard work.
And I believe that it is work that honors God.
I have given up trying to be perfect- but I still have to work on forgiving myself when I fail to handle situations in the way I wish I could.
It is so hard to live with those moments when I let my kids down, when I know I said the wrong thing. I know there are times when my face does not reflect the love I always feel for them, but my frustration and irritation in the moment.
When I pray I continually try to remind myself that God called me to this role. I have children- therefore He has called me to Motherhood. This role will shape me and my children forever.
He uses it all. His word promises..
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
And- thanks be to God- I am delivered from ever living a moment thinking I can do this alone. Being a Mom grounds me securely in the humility that I desperately need on this journey. I see the evidence of my need for God daily.
Failures, frustrations, sorrows…
Joy, bliss, laughter…
It all draws me to him.
So, being a Mom has shown me my desperate need for a Savior, and has helped me to live as a seeker and worshiper of my precious Savior who takes a broken vessel and miraculously uses it for His glory.
As one of my favorite songs says, “He makes beautiful things, he makes beautiful things out of dust. He makes beautiful things, he makes beautiful things out of us.”
Praise be to God for his daily mercies that give me the courage to continue on, even when my strength is gone. For I know I do not walk alone; He will sustain and uphold me. I need not fear for my precious Savior and God who holds me also holds my children. In the beauty of this mystery, I can entrust that which I hold dear to one who holds them dearer still. O, thank you, my Savior and Lord.