Tag Archives: Parenting

The Joy of Motherhood

  By Rachel | May 13, 2012 - 7:37 pm | Thoughts for the Day
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New Life
It starts at conception.  There is a shift- a subtle change.  A knowing- slowly budding to deeper understanding.

My body becomes a haven- a safe place for life to grow, to form, to bond. I feel the movements of hands and feet, the kicks and tickles- sometimes pain.

Your presence becomes a constant awareness- that my life already is protecting and nurturing yours.

My own wants have already begun to give way for you.  Watching what I eat, getting more sleep, doctor check-ups, reading books- talking to you, singing to you- realizing that you already know me- in a way that no one else on earth will.

Born of my body- the first cries, heart-bursting joy and passionate love- almost painful in it’s intensity-fills me.  Even through the fear and uncertainty- the precious gift- the miracle- the blessing fills my soul.

Each day as I watch you grow, feed you, change diapers, wash laundry, prepare your food, clean up toys, clean house, bandage knees, soothe tears, listen, share your joy, teach you, discipline you- I am singing you a love song.

All the times when I put my wants to the side and see you- love you- spend time with you- you teach me about Christ- about unconditional love, forgiveness, joy in the simple.

The immeasurable joy of serving- even when no one else sees it- of being aware of God’s presence as I work silently and faithfully within my home- giving my children the gifts of my love and presence.

Being a bringer of peace and joy- of exploring life with you again- seeing it all new through your eyes.

The miracle of your life never ceases to bring a tear to my eye- the amazing gift of your presence- your unique spirit and soul.  My heart overflows with thankfulness and humility- that I am honored with the gift of you.

All those things that used to seem so important- fade to nothingness in the reality of you.  Your presence has changed my priorities- in so many ways you have made things right- by opening my eyes to my own selfishness.

Now, my life is so full because of you- full of laughter, adventure, love, purpose- you have given me a new song to sing.

Mom and Daughter

Truth and Consequences?

  By Rachel | May 11, 2012 - 1:02 am | Thoughts for the Day
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Truth Or Consequences, NM - 16/09/08
My daughter made a bad decision today.  She was playing computer and did something that she knows she is not allowed to do.  I was sitting right next to her when she did it- and I got pretty angry at first.

I had just told her not to do that specific thing- and she did it anyway.  I got so frustrated- until a still, small voice whispered- you do that too- you do things that you know I don’t want you to do.

After feeling appropriately humbled by that word of conviction, I took a deep breath and prayed for patience and clarity of thought as I prepared to talk with my daughter.

I started with explaining to her about consequences when we make decisions- sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad.  Because she made a bad decision she had to deal with the consequences.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mom, I want the consequences to be over!”

Ava

One of those profound moments as a parent.  Oh there have been times in my life when I have felt that way- but the consequences were much more severe than just a day without playing computer.

And a great opportunity for talking and teaching.  We chatted for a while about consequences and then she said she wanted to do that activity again.

I really wanted to let her play on the computer again.  Because I knew it would make her happy- because I knew she was sorry- because really it was easier than dealing with her disappointment.

So I said no- you have to wait till tomorrow.

So many times, parenting is not about doing what feels good in the moment- it is knowing what you are trying to teach your child and having the courage to hold on to your conviction even when you would much rather be the “good guy.”

The strength of our convictions is what holds us firmly on course when we face times when we don’t want to be the disciplinarian- we don’t want to deal with our child’s tears.

It was hard- but I am finding- and I am sure you do too- that parenting is hard work- it requires constant work and attention- prayer- so much prayer.

There are so many things I want to do better- be a better example, be more patient, have more self-control and discipline- because I know those eyes are always watching- and those ears are always listening.

I pray for grace- that God will protect my children from my bad choices too- especially when they negatively affect them.

And that through faithful time with my Lord- He will continue to mold me into a Godly parent- guided by humility and a selfless desire to serve and teach my children in love.

 

Delight in Dawdling

  By Rachel | April 9, 2012 - 10:09 pm | Thoughts for the Day
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Rose
My daughter is a dawdler.  She especially seems to love dawdling when we are getting dressed in the morning, eating meals, and getting ready for bed at night.

She will ask questions (why?), move at a snails pace, anything to prevent the quick movement from point A to point B or through whatever task or meal we may be sitting down to complete.

I find myself getting very frustrated sometimes.  Why?  That’s what I have been thinking about- and truthfully- all the reasons that I come up with mostly boil down to my own selfishness.  I want her to move faster so that I can move on to the next thing or focus on the next thing.

When I have a list in my head of things to do, I like to move through those things and get them accomplished.

Sometimes my son is crying and she is dawdling and I just want her to hurry so I can get back to him.

Maybe you are trying to take just a few moments to sit down and read for a few minutes, or eat something, or do a few exercises…go to the bathroom…

In the heat of the moment, how do you respond?  I believe those moments are glimpses of our true character- our discipline and self-surrender to Christ.  That’s why I posit it is my own selfishness that fuels so many of my reactions- those parts of myself that remain not given up or delivered in Christ.

Whatever the reason- these are times when I feel my character is being tested.  How will I choose to respond?  Will I yell and get impatient?  Will I calmly ask her to move a little faster and explain to her the reason for hurrying?  Will I let her dawdle- and dawdle with her?

Life is full of so many small- seemingly insignificant moments- but out of those things if we are watching- we can see patterns emerge.  Ways that we choose to deal with situations that frustrated us or raise our stress level.

God has been challenging me with the realization that everything I do- even these seemingly insignificant things- are teaching my children about my character- and their mother responding with the love of Christ- and in a way that teaches them about who God is and who He calls us to be as Christians.

Rather than letting these moments slip by unchecked- I have been praying that God will change my heart and continue to chip away at the selfish parts of me- bringing me more fully in surrender to Him.

Romans 12:1-2

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Philippians 4:4-9

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Colossians 3:20-21 (Great passage on a Christian household)

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Embitter: Cause (someone) to feel bitter or resentful.

Bitter: characterized by intense antagonism or hostility, hard to bear, grievous, distressful

Synonyms for Bitter: heartbreaking, disagreeable, antagonistic, distasteful, acrimonious, disturbing, unpleasant

***I think that though this passage says Fathers- that Mothers can endeavor to also avoid things that would embitter our children.

Contemplating the view, Willis Tower
So I pray that today, we would take time to consider our interactions with our children, and if you have no children presently- how you interact with your spouse or co-workers, friends, family…

Are there any situations that continually frustrate you or leave you feeling unsatisfied- wishing for a different outcome?  Are you hungry to live a more faithful example of Christ’s sacrificial love and patience?

I encourage you to pray- and seek accountability- to find Scriptures that can encourage you and memorize them- write them on your mirror- start today.

Don’t let another day go by- for we all know- time slips away quickly and before we know it- the time to change is lost- our children are grown- relationships are damaged or destroyed- because we failed to see the importance of those seemingly little things.

Romans 7:21-25

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

 

 

 

Park Thoughts

  By Rachel | February 18, 2012 - 11:47 pm | Random
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Swinging

My daughter and I went to the park today.  It was a lovely warm morning, spring was in the air.  We climbed a rock wall and sat on top, looking at the trees swaying gently in the breeze, watching the other kids play, looking up at planes flying by.

I found myself overwhelmed with thankfulness for my children.  They have reminded me how wonderful play can be.  I had forgotten. 

I now spend a good portion of each day imagining scenarios, having imaginary conversations between stuffed animals, pushing my daughter or son on the swings.

I love letting her take the lead, guiding me through play, giving me suggestions and/or instructions on different scenarios- and I am amazed by her imagination and creativity.  Her attentiveness- some observations strike me mute with their insight.

She is teaching me as much as I am teaching her.

And the simple pleasure of play erases all the grown-up worries from my mind.  I find a sweet escape.

So as I wrap up the day, I am thankful for the beauty in the world through a child’s eyes- how they can transport us somewhere transcendent if we stop long enough to see and hear the whisperings of their heart.

Pondering Courageous Parenting

  By Rachel | February 17, 2012 - 11:14 pm | Random
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Cover of "Sacred Parenting: How Raising C...

Cover via Amazon

I never really considered parenting as a courageous job.  Hard work- yes, challenging- yes, and parenting has definitely brought new fears to light.

But I never really recall ever discussing with someone that I am becoming more courageous by being a parent.  More likely- I would be discussing being cautious.  Watching out for them.  Trying to keep them safe.

When reading Sacred Parenting today (by Gary L. Thomas) he talked about the fears we have as a parent. And then he said some things that really stretched my reality.

He quotes several do not fear passages from the Bible and then says that the Bible doesn’t offer a how-to or the five principles of overcoming fear- instead it calls us to “Do what is right regardless of how scared you feel.”

He goes on to talk about how fear of the unknown or potential failure can keep us from trying anything new in life- and missing out on what God may be calling us to do.  Then he says the following:

“I’m not saying we should act recklessly or toss discernment to the winds.  But I am saying that the fear of what-ifs has stopped cold more good work than has moral failure.  Fear doesn’t create scandalous headlines, as moral failure does, but it does just as seriously injure God’s work on this earth.”

I have been chewing no that for a while.  That is a point I had not really stopped to consider in that context, but I think it is an interesting point to ponder.

Then Gary Thomas talks about how this becomes more challenging because courage doesn’t always equal success.  And when it comes to our children, if someone asks us what we are willing to risk, we want to say- nothing- that’s it.  Safety first, remove the odds of anything bad happening.  But realistically, we can’t remove all the risk.

And this is the final thought I want to share from the book, “Through sacred parenting we learn to act courageously, regardless of how afraid we may feel.  And when we step out in faith, we allow God to shape our souls in ways that will develop us far beyond the parenting part of our lives.”

I hope this encourages and challenges you as well.  I am still chewing on it- that’s what I have loved about this book, I read a chapter and find myself thinking about it throughout the day as I interact with the kids- about how I am influencing them- and what am I teaching them through my actions, my priorities, and what I say.

I highly recommend Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls.  My Dad recommended it- I borrowed it from the library but I already know I am going to buy a copy.  It is the kind of book where I am going to want to write in the margins and underline things.

If you have any favorite parenting books, please share- or have you read anything or had some breakthrough moment as a parent that you would like to share about?

Would love to hear your thoughts.

 

 

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Sacred Parenting

  By Rachel | February 10, 2012 - 12:15 am | What I'm Reading
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I am very interested in starting this book.  It was recommended to me by several friends and my Dad- so I am hoping to do some future posts about the inspirational material and hopefully very practical too- that I can start using in my interactions with my two kiddos.

I try to not read too many parenting books, it can be a little overwhelming. But I think sometimes it can be very helpful to hear some suggestions of things that I could be doing to consciously teach or model something for my children that I might be overlooking.

A more thorough review coming soon!

Favorite thoughts so far:

Parenting calls us to purify ourselves so that we can effectively teach our own children.  This purification process in 2 Cor. 7:1 is “both deep and thorough…leading us to confront spiritual sins we never knew existed.

And what motivates us to put forth this effort in parenting?  Out of reverence for God. (2 Cor. again)

He talks a little further in about preparing our children to face opposition and suffering- and not trying to protect them too much and insulate them from hurt.

He said to one of his teenage children, “Look, this isn’t just about the attitude you have toward your Mother and me; it’s about the health of your soul as you accept the authority God has placed over you.  If I simply turn a blind eye to your attitude, I risk putting your eternal soul in peril, and I love you too much to do that.”

We will have to at times watch our children suffer, and have faith that some of those times their suffering will be vehicles for bringing about God’s greater purposes in their lives.  We have to trust Him in those times of trial.

Guilt can point us to God, Guilt can motivate us to do better, We need to trust God and let him take some of the responsibility sometimes and not bear the entire burden on our own. “Guilt can teach us to love mercy- loving mercy not only makes us thankful for the mercy we have received but it makes us eager to show mercy to others.”

 

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Carving Out A Moment

  By Rachel | February 6, 2012 - 8:39 pm | Random
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While I was vacuuming this morning, I started thinking about being home all the time and how it can wreak havoc on your boundaries.  When I was working outside the home, coming home was a place to escape, to relax and let my guard down.  It was restful.  Now home is my workplace, but it is also supposed to still be a place where I can recuperate and prepare myself for another day.  But how do you create boundaries when you spend most of your life confined to the same space?

I can’t escape the work involved with my job.  If I sit down and relax, the dust on the surfaces of the room where I am sitting suddenly seems to be glaring at me- accusing me of neglect.  And going out somewhere to escape when you have two kids just isn’t possible.  If I take them somewhere I am consumed with watching them and caring for them.  And I enjoy that- being a Mom is a blessing.  But when and how do you get “me” time?

Carving out a moment…those words just kept reverberating in my head.  I can play the martyr.  And grow seeds of bitterness in my heart because of all I am sacrificing for my family and all the work I am doing, and feeling mistreated because I never have time for me.  But that isn’t fair- to my kids or my husband.  I am responsible for taking care of myself- and if I fail to do that I compromise my effectiveness at my job.

So this year, my goal has been to not feel guilty when I sit down with a book for a while.  To find things that I enjoy, like writing, and spend time doing them each day.  And to take care of myself physically so that I can play with my kids and lead an active life.  I even stopped running for a season- something I love- out of guilt.  Misplaced guilt certainly, but guilt nonetheless.  I would say to myself, “how can I take time to do this when I could be playing with my kids or preparing dinner, or working on this project or that project?”

For all you other at home Moms out there- I pray that you are carving out time for yourselves too.  Because we need it!  And I believe it helps us to be at the top of our game in every area of life- when we take that time to tend to ourselves.