Why I Love My Husband

Heart

Been thinking a lot about my hubby this week- things at work have been a little crazy and I have been praying for Him more- as I try to do when things are more stressful at His job.

We studied Ephesians 5 today in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and I knew that today was going to be a day when I posted about Phil.

So I decided to list just a few of the many reasons why I love him and am thankful He is my man.

My husband faithfully serves without seeking recognition.  He loves running errands for me, helping with the kids, taking over the cooking of a meal so that I can put my feet up for a bit.  He notices when I am tired or have had a rough day- and will immediately jump into action.  I frequently hear, “what can I do?”

He also loves to serve others.  He is always volunteering to help friends or coworkers move, he looks for opportunities to use the gifts God has given him to serve the body of Christ and our neighbors.

Phil is a great Dad.  He loves spending time with the kids and makes a conscious effort to spend time with them when he gets home from work.  He puts our daughter to bed every night, brushing teeth, reading stories, and praying with her.

He is very good at complimenting.  Not just my appearance, though I appreciate that of course- but also he sees me and acknowledges the gifts God has given me and thanks me for my hard work at home keeping the house clean and taking care of our children. I feel appreciated and treasured.

He makes me laugh.  He is a very clever person.  Sometimes I don’t get the joke at first- and then I laugh even harder (or I ask him what he meant and then I laugh).  I tend to take myself too seriously sometimes, so I am grateful for how he injects laughter and release of tension into our life.

Couple

Most of all, He loves and serves God.  He is obedient to the Lord, and guides and leads our family in wisdom and humility.

Phil is a great listener.  If he doesn’t feel like he has something that needs to be said, he will just be silent.  I admire that- since sometimes I talk on and on- more b/c I am anxious or uncomfortable with a situation than I have anything meaningful to say.  He chooses his words carefully. He also is not uncomfortable with silence in conversation (I need to work on that too).

Phil is not eager to be right in arguments- one of my greatest faults.   I have a hard time admitting when I am wrong and will hold on to a grudge sometimes for a few hours or even half a day- but Phil seeks reconciliation and will immediately apologize if he believes he has done something wrong.  I admire this about him and the Lord uses him to convict me of sins of pride and selfishness in my own life.

Phil knows me- better than any other person- and he still loves me.  I feel safe and secure in his love.  He doesn’t bring up past arguments or mistakes and use those against me.  Even when we argue and disagree, I never doubt his love or his commitment to our marriage.

We talked briefly about our husbands at BSF- and it brought tears to my eyes- thinking about how thankful I am for Phillip.  God truly blessed me the day he walked into my life.

It was also a reminder to me to make sure to tell him how much he means to me- to never let a single day go by when I don’t thank him for all the ways he loves and serves God,  his family, his employer, and the church.

Ephesians 5:21-33  The Christian Household

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 

 

I’ve Got Your Back

There are days when I feel like every moment is moving- not that all the movement is hurried or stressful- only that my body feels in constant motion.  There are demands in every direction- draw a picture with chalk, make lunch, pushing kids on the swings, change diapers, make dinner, do laundry, wash dishes, pick up toys, read books…what am I forgetting?

And at some point in the day, I start thinking- it will be so good when Phil comes home.  Not because my day has been terrible, but because I look forward to his companionship, his help, no longer being alone parenting but having someone by my side.  Someone who I love, respect- He’s a great Dad.

Sometimes I forget to be thankful for him.  I start thinking about some of the things that bother me- like he leaves his socks and shoes under the coffee table at night- I usually pick them up in the morning.

But part of me loves those things too- loves our daily dance- the ways we compliment each other.  Sharing some things and stretching each other in other ways.

sync

Tonight I got a phone call at 4:30pm.  I missed it because I was outside with the kids.  Phil said he won’t be home till 7pm.  Busy time at work, busy week.

But most days he is home to have dinner and spend some time with the kids before bed (so thankful for this!).  So tonight, while I am missing him, I am going to say a prayer of thanks for my precious hubby.

On days like today I am reminded that love is a choice and conscious effort- for us it is also a covenant with God- till the day we die.  I pray that God will continue to remind us to treasure each other- and to be thankful for the blessing right before us.

So, if you haven’t told your spouse how much they mean to you today, I encourage you to do it.  If you feel some distance forming- talk about it.

In one of my counseling classes, a prof said (and I have never forgotten) marriages don’t explode, they erode.

Scott and Lindsey Engagement ShootThat has always challenged me to make a conscious effort to not let anything begin to chip away at the love and commitment we have with each other- but to build on it and strengthen it- to seek forgiveness and offer it freely.

I ask God to bless our marriage, to continually draw us closer to Him and closer to each other.  I pray that for you and your spouse too.  (and if you are single- say a prayer for your married friends- they will thank you for it.)  ;)

 

 

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Lashing Out

I don’t know about you, but stress always brings out the worst in me.  And the worst kind of stress comes from a situation that you can’t fix, all you can do is keep pressing on through the thick of the storm- not knowing when the waves will cease tossing you about.

I am bone tired.  Exhausted to the core of my soul.  And instead of leaning on my husband during times of trial, I lash out at him instead.  I vent my frustrations on the one person who I know loves me and is with me for the long haul.  And it makes me despise myself every time.  Why do we seem to take out our frustrations on the people who don’t deserve it?

I have ended up spending most of the day apologizing and then getting snippy again, and then saying sorry again.  We just got the kids in bed, and he came up to me and said, “I’m sorry about today,” and I replied, “What are you sorry about, I am the one who was irritable and rude.” He said, “You blow up and I clam up; we both have our different ways of dealing with stress.”

He is right.  We are very different people and we tend to deal with stress, well, just about anything really- well, differently.  After talking with him and hugging, he said, “I am heading out to go get burgers and beer.”  That sounds perfect.

Even after a day like today, knowing that tomorrow may be more of the same- one thing remains certain- I know that he loves me.  I know that he won’t leave me; we are in this together- for better or for worse.  Reflecting on the ups and downs of our eight years of marriage, one of my favorite passages from Scripture comes to mind- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

God once again gives us an ambitious mark to shoot for- to love like He loves us.  I am thankful that my husband and I can rest in the love of God our Father- when all around us is chaos and we need something to cling to in the storm.

Praying for peace and rest tonight.