Remembering Who We Are

there were songs in the trees

I have felt so beaten down lately.  A lot of it is lack of social network- support- other Moms to talk to.

Sometimes I feel like a terrible Mom- when I lose my temper, get frustrated, raise my voice, and I have to face the bitter disappointment of another mistake- and feeling like a failure.

The Next Day…

It is amazing the difference a day can make.  I didn’t finish writing this post when I started it- and now, after today- I wonder how I can write it.

Today has been wonderful- a day when I have savored time with the kids, played in the dirt, enjoyed time with another Mom- and I feel silly for even writing the above.

But the reality is- I think we all have days when we feel as though we can’t get anything right.  There can be a snowballing effect when one thing goes wrong, and each bad decision or reaction seems to build until you feel overwhelmed by the size of it.

One of the ways I am trying to fight the negativity in my head is with the reality of who I am in Christ.

When I feel like a terrible Mom and lose my temper- I need to seek forgiveness but also- accept it.

Forgive myself and remember that I am precious in the sight of God and He loves me- not just when I am performing at top notch standards- but even on those no good very bad days when I want to just run away or bury my head in the sand.

Sometimes I forget how far God’s love extends- because I spend my days dealing with people- and we don’t love each other that way.  So it’s easy to start thinking that God’s love is limited to the human standards.

So together right now, let’s remember how much God loves us- and how precious we are in His sight- and I pray that it will strengthen and uplift you.
The Light Shines In The Darkness...

Ephesians 1:3-14 – this is one of my favorite passages about who we are.

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, 9 he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

 11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

 

 

 

 

He Is Able

Stepping Stones over the River Mole, Box Hill, Dorking
He is Able

He is able more than able
To accomplish what concerns me today
He is able more than able
To handle anything that comes my way
He is able more than able
To do much more than I could ever dream
He is able more than able
To make me what He wants me to be

This song has been running through my head today.  Just thinking again about Ephesians 3 and how often I limit God by not believing in the power available to me through Christ.

I pray that today, no matter where you are, what you have done, or how worthy you feel- that you would surrender to God.

To a love that heals, protects, and never fails- that will transform you and allow you to accomplish amazing things- through Jesus Christ- all for the glory of God.

How Big Are You Letting God Be?

Mountain - Alaska's Denali

I was convicted through this question today.  Through confirmation of my own doubts, and my feelings of helplessness- how can one person make a difference?

And then I read in Ephesians 3 today, and I heard God once again speaking directly to me, to my circumstances, to where I am.

Ephesians 3:14-21

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine…

Beyond the scope of your mind- what you can conceive, and then beyond that too.

Let that truth sink in-it is just what I needed to hear today.  God is big enough for all of our troubles, our struggles.

I am not alone.  My work does not have to be done alone.  If I but ask, God will teach me about love that surpasses knowledge- that fills me with the fullness of God!

When I was at BSF(Bible Study Fellowship) today, hearing the lecture, and these words reached me- I felt such a deep sense of comfort.  He knows every question before I ask it, before I even know what I need to ask.

He has already answered it, He knows.  I am so comforted by His Presence today.  By His Promises.  I want to pray these promises into my life more- claim what He has freely offered.

I pray that these words would wash over you today- His desire to give us more than we can ask or imagine- that we would have the courage to follow His call in the confidence of His Word.

Volcano Wall

Confession is Good for the Soul

embrace

In our Sunday school class, we were talking about the Lord’s Prayer.  We are doing a study where we use the model of how Jesus taught His disciples to pray, to help guide us in our own personal prayer time.

Today, I was thinking about prayers of confession.  Besides communion Sundays, sometimes I don’t really take the time to confess my sins before the Lord.  Honestly, I may consciously think that something is wrong or a bad decision, but sometimes I don’t actually take the time to pray and ask God for forgiveness and if I have wronged someone else, to ask forgiveness from them too.

The most frequent people that I ask for forgiveness are my children and my husband.  The people I love the most unfortunately at times also see the worst that I have to offer.  Very humbling and at times frustrating.

I just wanted to encourage you (as I have been encouraged by this study today) to take time to confess to God.  I know that these prayers have at many times in my life been very therapeutic. Taking time to confess my short-comings also has a tendency of reminding me how very big our God is- and there is comfort in His Power and Strength- in His Lordship in my life.  Being under His Discipline as His child.

There is safety and peace in that- I know He will not lead me astray.

Praying today that we will seek to break the power of sin by openly confessing those things that keep us from greater intimacy with God, and that we would seek to be reconciled with those whom we have hurt- whether by word or deed.

James 5:13-20

13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

19 My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, 20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

 

 

 

 

The Legacy of Women who Love God

tree of light

My Grandmother has passed away.  At the end of life, it is customary to remember all the days before- to think about- what is my legacy?

I can tell you what my Grandmother’s Legacy was to me.  A life spent loving God, serving God, sharing God, living a life honoring Christ.  She modeled, in so many ways, a life that said God is first in my heart.

I remember waking up in the morning when we were staying with them for family holidays or trips- and finding her sitting with her Bible and devotional book and her breakfast.  I knew not to disturb her when she was having her quiet time with God.

I had the thought- and wrote it down in one of my journals I kept as a kid, that Grandma always reminded me how important it is to spend time with God every day, and to put Him first.

My Grandma was a hard worker, and she was tough.  Not that she was lacking in tenderness- there was a sweetness so beautiful in her too- but I admired her work ethic- and how much joy she took from serving her family.

Boxes full of cards can be found in storage here at the house.  Many of them are from Grandma and Grandpa.  Their messages were always heartfelt and tender- talking about missing me, being proud of me, how much they enjoyed being with me and my children.  Their joy over my marriage to Phil.

It matters.  The love of the women who have gone before me.  They have modeled for me what a Godly woman looks like.

Proverbs 31:10-12,25-31

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I am humbled and honored to have known women who love the Lord and serve Him all the days of their life.  To have had the chance to talk to my grandmother about being a Mom, to hear her wisdom and advice- to pray with her.

Through the jumble of emotions, there is joy.  I know Grandma is at peace, she is in the arms of Jesus.  Her suffering is no more- and I know I will see her again someday.
Sadness

I am singing the song below at my Grandmother’s funeral.

Neither Hot nor Cold

Revelation 3:14-20

14“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
The open church door (explored)This passage has been on my mind a lot lately.  One of the most troubling things I see now in our country is apathy.

What is apathy?

  1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
  2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

Synonyms: coldness, detachment, disinterest, dispassion, disregard, passiveness, unconcern, stoicism

We just don’t care.  That’s a simple way of saying it.  We are concentrating on our own family, and our own concerns, our comforts, our life, our children.

The only problem with this is that as the church God calls us to love our neighbor.  He calls us to defend the defenseless- to take up their cause.  To help the poor, orphan, and widow.

We pay our taxes and decide to let the govt do it- but that’s not what God called us to do.  We are not only supposed to fill people’s pocketbooks.

What does the Bible say about money?  Love of money is the root of all evil (1 Tim. 6:10).  Money can potentially be a dangerous threat to intimacy with God.  We need to be sharing Christ with people AND meeting their needs.

Does the govt tell people about Jesus when they pay for their food stamps or Social Security?  Do they share about how God can heal us when they go in for their doctor appointments with Medicare and Medicaid?

It is a lazy answer.  We don’t want to get our hands dirty- to deal with interacting with people who haven’t bathed, may not have all their teeth, may not speak English well, maybe they don’t know how to read, or maybe they have been addicted to drugs or alcohol. They might not be like us.

But who did Jesus spend his time with?  That’s what disturbs me when I read Scripture.  I see myself (and the church in the US) more and more as the Pharisees and Sadducees- those who Jesus called white washed tombs.  We appear on the outside to be holy and do the things we are supposed to do- but inside our hearts- in our spirits- we are far from the things of God.

Matthew 23:25-39  Jesus is teaching here- the beginning of Matthew 23 is also very applicable to this discussion.

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

29 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. 30 And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ 31 So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. 32 Go ahead, then, and complete what your ancestors started!

33 “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? 34 Therefore I am sending you prophets and sages and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. 35 And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. 36 Truly I tell you, all this will come on this generation.

37 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. 38 Look, your house is left to you desolate. 39 For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

It gets messy when you open yourself up to love people.  Especially when you don’t know how they will respond.  To give in relationships where you do not expect to get anything in return.  We are used to equitable relationships- people who can do things for us if we do things for them.

The truth is- I am discovering this- the getting messy part- all over again.  It is easy to forget how hard it is to put yourself out there- to loan money to someone and they don’t pay you back.  And then they stop calling you.  Suddenly you are no longer their friend- and you are wondering if they ever were your friend or were just waiting to take money from you.

Sometimes we look foolish to others- they make judgments about whether or not we should have helped someone.  But what is more important?

It’s hard.  But no matter how many times we help, or what the outcome is, God calls us to continue.  To learn to give, not expecting anything in return and to share the gospel.

So I pray that this week we will be open to opportunities to reach out to the “least of these.” (Mat. 25:40,45) And that we would step out in faith and serve- trusting God with the outcome.

Impatiens sodenii 'Madonna' #2

Trust God to bring our bud to glorious flower.

 

Keeping the First Thing…First

The Gut Buster - 108/365

Not a pic of my daughter- but reminded me of her- she loves to pick flowers.

I got frustrated with my daughter today.  I was sitting at the computer typing away, in deep thought- trying to get the words in my head onto the computer screen before they evaporated away- and she is bouncing on the bed singing right behind me.

Very distracting- and under different circumstances I would have seen it as totally adorable, but since I was trying to write…well, long story short this Mom had to say she was sorry and ask for forgiveness.

It hurts to admit that I got impatient with my daughter for no good reason- I let other things distract me from my most important role right now- Mom.

My children are young, and I am blessed with the opportunity to be home with them, to have a wonderful husband who works hard so that I can spend my days enjoying my kiddos.

I don’t want to look back and regret that I did not spend more time with them, but be able to treasure all the special memories of this season of life and thank God that I savored it- that I enjoyed the blessing and gift of these precious lives.

So, I spent the afternoon and early evening enjoying my children- knowing that there will be time for those other things- but for now- I need to keep the first thing…first.

 

Lessons at Walmart

Walmart Clareview - Entrance

Before I went to Walmart yesterday with the kiddos, I was praying for some opportunities to chat with people in the store, or just smile and make eye contact with people, inviting conversation.

I was walking through the store and had almost wrapped up my shopping, when I saw a lady just coming in the store.  When I made eye contact with her and smiled, she immediately started talking to me.

She quickly starting sharing things about her family. We had a nice chat for about ten minutes, and then we said goodbye and she went to shop and I got bought my things and went home.

After I got home and was working outside in the garden, I started to feel some regret from how I handled the situation.

I wished I would have prayed with her, or at least asked her if she wanted to pray.  And then I wished that I had asked if she went to church somewhere and invited her to come to church with me.

Sometimes I miss my college days, when I was so bold in my witness- I remember saying- and writing in my journal- “They just need Jesus.”

But as I have gotten older, and I have seen more pain and hurt, and have dealt with questions I can’t answer- I think I have lost some of my boldness.  Why?  My faith in God is stronger today than it ever has been.  I have witnessed answers to prayer, have seen God’s provision in our lives- I feel the freedom of His forgiveness and have felt the Holy Spirit working in my life.

So why do I hesitate to share?  Though I may not be certain of the why- I know that I want to always be willing and paying attention- so that I do not miss another opportunity to share about Jesus.

He has transformed my life- and having children has fanned the flame of my desire to know Him more into a roaring blaze at times- I feel so desperate for God’s help.  I want to raise our children to know God and love Him, to serve Him every day of their life.  I want to protect them from the evil in this world.

But I know that I can’t always be with them.  What a comfort it is to know that God is always there for them!  That He loves them even more dearly than I.

So, my prayer today is one for boldness.  That I may be faithful to share God’s good news with everyone I meet.

He calls us to share with others- and how they respond isn’t our responsibility- but we must always be ready to share- no matter where we are- even in Walmart.

1 Peter 3:13-18

13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

If God has truly changed us, if we are living in peace and freedom- with an eternal hope- then shouldn’t we want to share that?

I pray that we will be bold to share our testimony with others, and to live out our faith daily- to willingly submit to being changed into Christ’s image (2 Cor. 3:18).

Reaching Out

Prayer Tree

 

God of Grace and God of Glory

Big Meadow, Skyline Drive (3)

 

We sang this hymn in church today.  And today was one of those days when this hymn became a prayer- my heart crying out to God for healing of our country- for a renewal of passion within us- to truly be disciples of Jesus.

For the church to rise up against those who scorn Christ and assail His ways- because they’re out there- even now- let us be vigilant to remember what Christ taught us.

Are we hungry for Him?  Do we see our need?  Oh, how I long for us to return to God with passion.

This portion esp. spoke to me- Bend our pride to Thy control. Shame our wanton selfish gladness, Rich in things and poor in soul- we are so rich in things in this country- but we too are pour in soul- for complacency and apathy are often the bedfellows of a comfortable existence.

I pray that this hymn touches you today like it has me- and that we start today, even now, to stir a hunger within ourselves to know God- to be obedient- to study His Word, to pray for salvation for those around us- to reach out and serve faithfully.

Rock Gap Rd, West Virginia

Revive us oh God

 

God of grace and God of glory,
On Thy people pour Thy power.
Crown Thine ancient church’s story,
Bring her bud to glorious flower.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
For the facing of this hour,
For the facing of this hour.

Lo! the hosts of evil ’round us,
Scorn Thy Christ, assail His ways.
From the fears that long have bound us,
Free our hearts to faith and praise.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
For the living of these days,
For the living of these days.

Cure Thy children’s warring madness,
Bend our pride to Thy control.
Shame our wanton selfish gladness,
Rich in things and poor in soul.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
Lest we miss Thy kingdom’s goal,
Lest we miss Thy kingdom’s goal.

Set our feet on lofty places,
Gird our lives that they may be,
Armored with all Christ-like graces,
In the fight to set men free.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
That we fail not man nor Thee,
That we fail not man nor Thee.

Save us from weak resignation,
To the evils we deplore.
Let the search for Thy salvation,
Be our glory evermore.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
Serving Thee Whom we adore,
Serving Thee Whom we adore.

A Little TOO Comfortable

My daughter and I have this book that we read together- for a while it was her favorite- but now we read it only occasionally.  It came to my mind today as I was thinking about the passage in 2 Corinthians that we studied at BSF(Bible Study Fellowship) this past Wednesday.

The book is called The Best Mouse Cookie and it’s by Laura Numeroff.   The story goes that mouse is making cookies- and at one point he gets a little tired (happens to be when the cookies are in the oven) and the cookies get burned.

The line that the author uses jumped to my mind- mouse gets comfortable… “A little TOO comfortable.”  I think that is how I get into trouble sometimes.

I am never going to get any sleep.

2 Corinthians 5:7-11

7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 11 Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others.

Those of us who have committed ourselves to Christ and have received the Holy Spirit and are now reborn in Him, we are called to bear fruit.  For we will be called to account for all that we have done.

When I read this Scripture from 2 Corinthians- I feel afraid.  Because I have read about the wrath and judgment of God.  I know that He despises sin and all evil.  When I let evil take root in my life- when I leave it there unchecked- I believe that there are consequences- an accounting will be made.

When we lead others astray- when we fail to be obedient to God’s call on our lives and people suffer because of it- I believe we will be held accountable.

Do I believe that we lose our salvation?  No.  That is between each person and God- He is the judge- not I.

But I think it is good for us to gravely consider our actions- and whether or not we are being faithful to God’s call upon our lives.

Psalm 111:7-10

7 The works of his hands are faithful and just;
   all his precepts are trustworthy.
8 They are established for ever and ever,
   enacted in faithfulness and uprightness.
9 He provided redemption for his people;
   he ordained his covenant forever—
   holy and awesome is his name.

 10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
   all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
   To him belongs eternal praise.

If you are unsure whether or not you are being obedient to where God has called you- pray, talk to someone you respect- an Elder in your church, your pastor, a family friend.  Seek wise counsel.  Read God’s Word and pray seeking God’s Will.  He will be faithful to point you in the right direction.

2 Chronicles 7:14 -Although God is speaking directly to Solomon about the dedication of the temple here- I think we can also claim this promise.

14 If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I pray that today we will take the time to stop during our day and seek God’s face.  So that we will not miss out on opportunities to be used by Him- to bring glory to His Name in our acts of sacrifice and service.

And that we also might try to persuade others (see verse 11).  For if God has truly changed our lives and set us free from sin and given us the gift of eternal life- isn’t this something we should want to share?

I pray that we will find opportunities today to share and that we will boldly do so- we are not responsible for how the message is received by others, but we need to be sharing it!

2 Peter 3:9-10

9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

 10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.

May the coming accounting for our deeds before God inspire us to strive towards those things that please Him- and to share about salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord with everyone that we can.

To endeavor to live so that we may someday hear the words- “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

The Island Cross