When I Don’t Understand…


Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

Lean not…

LEAN not…

lean NOT…

on your own understanding.

I don’t understand right now.  Almost 5 months out of work- financial burdens pressing harder with each passing day.

It is harder to fight worry- to push away those anxious thoughts.

And I want to figure things out, to control this situation somehow- because my feelings are oppressive sometimes.  I feel like they clog my soul- making purer, more lovely emotions feel awkward and foreign…misplaced somehow…

He whispers…joy in the midst of struggle…

Let trials be an opportunity for joy…

Oh how God?  Please show me.  Because many times joy is the farthest thing from my mind.

And I want your way, not the world- that says money buys happiness and if I could just have a little more it would all be ok.

Show us the way- your way.  Lead us into your truth and teach us.

We cling- CLING– to the promise that you will not leave nor forsake us.

This is a lonely road- and when we don’t see the end of this journey…

We can lose that anticipation of your provision.  The hope that though you may be slow in coming- in our human perception- but the truth is you are never late.

You are always on time.

Help us dig in LORD, and hold on.

Even with our trembling and tender knees- driven to humility by circumstances we don’t understand…

except you allowed it.

We prayed and this was your answer.

And here we are- held only by Your hands.  Our faith in You keeping us level while everything goes sideways.

We are refined in the fire of trial.

These days, prayers come to mind and are lifted constantly.  I am aware of how desperately we need You right now.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him.”

When I share about this season- I cannot do so without speaking Your Name.  We would not be able to bear the weight of this without You.

We have found peace and joy in the midst of this struggle…and lost it…and found it again.

Greater intimacy with each other and with You.

That’s what You do. 

It is marvelous and humbling to see how You are shaping us during this season of struggle and fire- of brokenness and loneliness.

And as I read about the Israelites and their exodus- I know that I am forgetful too.  I must remember your promises- review those answers to prayer.  Hold each like a precious jewel.

And press on, one day at a time- like the beat of my heart- pumping just enough blood to keep me living for the moment- you extend grace for the moment…and then the next one…and then the next one.

Lord, this journey leaves me with little to say at times that I haven’t already said.  The most important thing is remembering who you are, remembering who I am in you- and remembering your promises.  Reviewing what you have done- all the times you have been faithful.  Remembering the precious blood shed for my sins by your Son Jesus, and clinging to the cross.

We love you Lord, and we believe that your promises are true. Hold us as we cling to you. May we be refined and softened in our hearts, readily obedient to our precious King. I pray that this season brings glory to you- that when your provision comes others will look at our life and sing praises to you. To exalt our great God.  Because you are great, and praiseworthy- perfect in power, righteous in all your ways.

I exalt thee O God, I acknowledge that you are worthy of my praise today and every day- for all the days of my life.  Worthy is the lamb, Amen.

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2 Responses to When I Don’t Understand…

  1. Carla says:

    Wow thank you again, spot on for what I’m going through, though finance could be better mine is another area but still so so applies! Has really encouraged me! Thank you once again. Your a true blessing! X

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