Are they the same?
I want to look them up. I want to understand rest. Because quiet is something I crave, but when I have it, it seems wrong- out of joint. Like something is missing.
Too much quiet makes me feel…
I love the silence of the morning. When I am alone without demands and questions, without little voices calling or eyes looking for me. When I only get up b/c I want to- or I need something.
But I know I would miss the same things that I long to escape.
So what I really wonder is- how much quiet do I need to get through the loudness of life?
How can I find stillness with noise?
Because I need it. I want to quiet and still inside when outside is chaos.
I want to be steady and anchored.
I know I can be in the Lord. I know if I abide in Him he can anchor me. Yet I still let myself become untethered and I wander.
I can’t even have five minutes. I sat down to write this post and I’m interrupted.
I want to be angry. I know that’s selfish.
I want to balance time for me- time for all I love- most who I love- who God has called me to love- even when it’s hard.
Sometimes I just feel like there is not enough of me.
How if I waste one minute- I can never get it back.
But how do I live and balance the work and the quiet.
I want a quiet and gentle spirit- that doesn’t fight against giving way for others- but when do I take time for me?
How do I make time in the midst of this day to carve out seconds to find peace- to maintain quiet in me?