Prayer: Cling and Wait

Looking out

Lord, sometimes answers are long in coming.

I think that I can wait.

I try to wait.

I get discouraged.

I cry.

My heart sags.

Buoys.

And sags again.

More tears.

Then a glorious time in Your Word and I feel strong.

For a while.

More waiting.

I am ashamed with my discouragement.

I am angry sometimes.

Sad too much.

I try to be grateful- to write my list– to cling to you.

But sometimes my grip gets slippery.

I am sweating under the strain of what I bear.

I wonder- is this more than I can bear?

And I shrink in shame from those thoughts too.

I am weak and frail and so quick to lose heart.

hold on

Oh Lord, help me.  I am so tired sometimes.  I want to be joyful in your truth, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  But I am not.

I snap.

Escape.

Complain.

Think that I know Your Will- act…and find myself with doors closing in my face.

Tears fall once again.

Am I wrong?  How do I know?

Is this all part of your plan?

I doubt whether I heard you at all.

My heart sags.

I want to shake the sadness.  I know there will be troubles in this life. Times of testing.  These are mine to bear.

You have graciously given me so many gifts.  Why does my mind always seem to focus on those few unknowns?

My mind is so undisciplined.  I let it toss me this way and that.  I could focus on your Word, I could quote Scripture to myself.  But sometimes I just let it wander through the theater of negativity- taking in a show or two.

I know no fruit will come of it.  That it will only lead to more discouragement and grief- yet I let the movies play on and on in my mind.

Save me Lord.  Lift me out of this pit.

Today- right now.  I choose.

One step- write down gratitude.

Another-enter into joy– laugh with my children.

Breathe.

Watch the hummingbird- glory in his wings-see graceful beauty.

I will praise you.  I will put my hope in  You and give glory to Your Name.   I will lift my voice in praise to You.

Singing her heart out

I will rise from the ashes of despair with Your Truth on my lips.

Don’t let me go.

Hold me.

I will wait.

And cling to faith.

***I dedicate this prayer to David- (a man after God’s own heart) who ministers to me in his honesty and transparency with God.

 

 

 

Linked up to the following:


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12 Responses to Prayer: Cling and Wait

  1. Marissa says:

    This is great! It is so true that the cycle of despair is so human and only praising the Lord helps to break it. Luckily He gives us the power to tap into His Grace all the time.

    Marissa
    hopping over from Cornerstone confessions
    http://forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you Marissa. I love how we can pour ourselves out to God- so real and raw in all our emotions- all the time holding in balance who He is- and knowing that when we have exhausted ourselves- we can come and simply kneel at His feet once again. God bless you, so glad you stopped by. :)

  2. Lori says:

    Oh, Rachel, I identify with you in the labor and effort that faith requires. How I want to be faithful to the end, yet how weak is my flesh. I am comforted that “greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world.” I blogged recently on the labor that is faith in a post called PUSH. Perhaps it will encourage you as you have encouraged me. I visited from Be Not Weary today, and I’m glad :)
    http://lori-benotweary.blogspot.com/2011/04/push.html

    • Rachel says:

      Lori-

      Thank you for sharing. I am looking forward to reading your post- thank you for linking it up- I pray that it will also encourage those who are “laboring in faith.” God bless you.

  3. What a great poem/words! I think everyone would admit to feeling this way at some point in their lives. We’re all waiting for something!

    This is a post I wrote earlier this year about waiting for an opportunity. http://www.day2dayjoys.com/2012/03/waiting-on-god-our-story-and-things-to.html

    Now once again, I find myself waiting. After 2 pregnancy losses this year I will wait until the Lord blesses me once again with a baby. I was held captive to my pain an sorrow up until recently when my mind cleared and I was able to regain focus, laying it all at the Lord’s feet! For His plans are far better than mine! (Eph. 3:20)

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your losses. My heart rejoices that you have found comfort and healing at the feet of our Lord. Praise His Name. He is faithful in all things- so glad He walks through the pain with us. Looking forward to reading your post. God bless you.

  4. Gail says:

    Wonderful personal psalm and I can identify with so much of it. Thanks for sharing this. Gail (BibleLoveNotes.com)

  5. Ashley says:

    I needed this today, what a wonderful post!

  6. what a beautiful prayer to your Lord. keep writing for Him.
    (& thanks for sharing it with us ;))
    – L

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