The more time I spend in God’s Word, the more I get shook up.
Life as usual just isn’t good enough.
I want more.
I seek God, passionately and desperately longing for my life to change.
Not even sure how it can… (so many bad habits)
What will it look like? I keep searching His word- pleading to Him for help.
As I read John 5 today, my soul trembled.
36 “I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to finish—the very works that I am doing —testify that the Father has sent me. 37 And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, 38 nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. 39 You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me to have life.
41 “I do not accept glory from human beings, 42 but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. 43 I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44 How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?
The problem comes when you can no longer walk away after reading your Bible and writing in your journal and remain unchanged.
And I feel that line that has been drawn in the sand.
I can’t go back now- I know too much.
I have tasted and seen.
The Word has resonated so deeply, you feel your need for God so profoundly, that you find no rest in “business as usual.”
Change must come- and it is scary and wonderful at the same time.
Scary because it means acknowledging that God needs to be all and me none.
Wonderful because I cannot be any more safe and secure in this life than in the hands of my Savior and God.
Scary because I don’t know what He might ask me to do, to give up.
Wonderful because I cling to promises of glory, heaven, eternity- and this world fades in significance compared to what will come.
Lord, I pray that when I put down my Bible, your Word will continue to stir in my heart. May my eyes seek you throughout the day- eagerly looking to find you in all that I do and see- to invite you in. I don’t want to be like one who looks in the mirror- and then walks away and forgets what I look like. I want to be changed- transform me Lord- shake up my life. Hold me. I need You. By the power of your Holy Spirit, to bring Glory to Your Name I pray, Amen.