Love at the Crossroads

fork

The plane pulled into KY and my husband and I looked out to see snow flakes falling in the air.  From sunny Mexican beaches to snowy Kentucky bluegrass?  We both laughed and shook our heads at the hilarity of our situation.

A friend and old roommate of my husband’s came to pick us up at the airport.  We were both tired and so ready to spend our first night in our apartment together (we were returning from our honeymoon).

The trip back to our apartment was slow-going.  Snow does not fall often in KY and we had gotten several inches just before our plane arrived. We lived off one of the most picturesque roads through the state, very curvy with horse farms featured along both sides of the road.

Beautiful in normal circumstances but at night, in snow, very dangerous.  We finally made it to our apartment.  My hubby and I got out, and started to take our bags up the fire escape (we lived in an apartment above a Subway restaurant).

When we got up to the door, my hubby pulled up short all of the sudden.  “I don’t have the keys.”

Turns out, he had left the keys to our apartment, our passports, all our money and credit cards and driver’s license on the plane.

Relive this moment with me- we have just gotten back from our honeymoon- I am cold, tired, and ready to get into bed with my husband.  Now, I am feeling anxious and upset, wondering if we will be able to get our bag he left.

And the thoughts continue to spiral downward: How could he have left it? I never would have done that.  If I had kept the bag this never would have happened.

And then, God stepped in- and I will never forget this moment- I felt the presence of God and heard his voice speaking to me.

He said simply- be silent.

And as I was quiet- I took a minute to think about my husband’s perspective- how he must be feeling. The sudden reality of how my words could hurt slowly dawned on me.

It would not help the situation for me to criticize or chastise him for forgetting the bag- I was sure he already felt terrible.  He knew I was cold and upset- I am sure it was written all over my face.

What he needed was my support and my love.  For me to speak encouragement and love into this moment of crisis- not criticism.

I have never forgotten this day.  In all our years of marriage this memory has come back to me often.  Reminding me how much power I have to foster love in our relationship- and to show my husband respect- even when he makes mistakes.

I make them too- how would I feel if he rubbed my nose in them?  I praise and thank God for the lesson He taught me in that moment- and that I chose to obey Him.

What are you going through in your marriage right now?  How can you encourage your spouse; come alongside them in the struggle?  Even if it is hard to love them- maybe it is their fault or maybe they have really screwed up.

I pray that we will be listening for the voice of God- to hear Him speak into our situation, whatever it may be- and be willing to obey what He is calling us to do.  Even if it means swallowing our pride and serving when our spouse doesn’t deserve it.

Let us remember one who gave us the greatest gift of all at a moment when we didn’t deserve it.  One who saved us from a righteous punishment-let’s reach out and extend grace as well.

Love birds

 

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6 Responses to Love at the Crossroads

  1. Again, your words touch me! This is so true. I have had many of those moments as well, but I’ve also had the other kind of moments, moments when I spewed forth the negativity from my mouth and tore down my husband with it. I pray for more of those “God” moments and less “me” moments. Beautiful post :)

    • Rachel says:

      I agree Crystal- there are moments when I have also learned through bad choices and I have seen the hurt that I have caused- in those moments when my own pride has won over loving my husband. I would join you in that prayer- more of God and less of me.

  2. Ashley Ditto says:

    This is just beautiful! I am new to your blog, and can’t wait to read more!

  3. Deb Hand says:

    My husband and I will be married 37 years this summer, Rachel. Your heartfelt words are just as relevant in my marriage today as they would have been long ago. Thanks for sharing!

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