The Contentious Wife


Whenever I am reading Scripture and any verses come up talking about a wife- they tend to stand out to me for several reasons.

First- I want to be a Godly wife and support and love my husband.

Second- I want to be obedient to what God’s Word tells me about being a “good” wife- not the world.

So, as I was reading in Proverbs for the past several weeks, and I noticed contentious wife kept coming up.

I started marking it, each day, and was surprised how many times I found it.  When the same thing is repeated multiple times in Scripture, or even in a certain passage- that draws my attention- I feel that this was something to pay special attention to.

So I looked up contentious, here are some of the definitions:

  • Causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial
  • Involving heated argument.
  • tending to argue or quarrel
  • exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes
  • Synonyms: argumentative, belligerent, combative

Yikes, well I knew that contentious couldn’t be good, but the definition- exhibiting perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes- well, that just sounds awful.

Here are the passages in Proverbs that speak about a contentious wife:

Pr. 21:9- It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house.

Pr. 21:19- It is better to dwell in a desert land, Than with a contentious and fretful woman.

Pr. 25:24- It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house.

Pr. 27:15-16- A continual dropping in a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike: He that would restrain her restraineth the wind; And his right hand encountereth oil.

In our Bible study at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), we are currently reading 1 Peter 3-5.  This is another challenging Scripture regarding the relationships of wives and husbands, specifically 3:1-7.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

I am challenged when I see purity and reverence, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit-this is of great worth in God’s sight.

I believe we can be passionate and strong women- and still honor what God’s Word is calling us to do in this passage- and in others that call us to submission (Eph. 5:21-33, 1 Tim 2:9-15, Col. 3:18-19)

A peaceful morning ride

Our culture, esp. some of the feminist elements and women’s rights groups- call us to honor ourselves in ways that are selfish and prideful- and end up hurting women more than helping them- by filling them with lies about what they think a woman should be like.

We cannot know God’s Will for us as wives and women if we do not spend time in God’s Word and prayer- seeking His wisdom.  I believe if we humbly submit to the Lord- and seek His guidance- we will indeed be wives and women who honor Him.

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2 Responses to The Contentious Wife

  1. dave says:

    WOW, finally an honest woman. You are worth far more than rubies and gold! Your husband is a lucky man. Many women are poisoned to some degree about their roles as wives and scratch against their own blessing. “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1. If more wise women teach what you know, the world will be a better place.

    • Rachel says:

      I agree Dave, if more women sought to live obedient to the Lord this world would most definitely be a better place. By God’s grace, I pray to live a life that honors and brings glory to His Name. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. God bless you.

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