Some days it just seems like everything goes wrong. Plans that I had been looking forward to get messed up, argument with my husband…from the moment I get up- everything is messed up.
I see what’s happening and try to take a deep breath and not get upset, but I feel myself on the edge of tears. And all the things that have been just below the surface threaten to overthrow me.
When times like this come, I am so thankful for the Psalms. I can usually find at least one that resonates with how I am feeling- and I have learned to pray, right away, to ask God for help. And maybe that’s all I can do, cry out to Him in my pain and tears and regret for not handling things better- for getting upset at the people I love the most.
Some would say it’s weak to ask for help- but I believe it takes more courage to admit when we are at the end of what we have- when we have been beaten down by our circumstances and need someone to fight a few rounds for us- to give us a break- some rest.
I need to sit out on the sidelines for a while- and just bask in who God is- to feel His love and to get recharged. To remind myself that although I feel alone He is here with me.
This is the first season of my life when I have been alone almost every day all week. Besides my husband, I usually don’t interact with another adult human being- except at Bible Study on Wednesday mornings and choir practice on Wednesday evenings.
For a socialite- this has been agony. At times I feel so overwhelmed by loneliness, I feel like I could die from it. (Not literally but I can be a little dramatic sometimes, esp. when I am feeling sorry for myself)
Sometimes we take the things that are not quite right in life- or the problems of a season- and let them get so big in our minds that they actually can defeat us for a time. We lose focus of all the blessings and instead see only our pain.
I know that I do this at times- and I feel very convicted of that attitude for two reasons.
1– there are so many who at this moment are suffering through things that I can not even imagine. My discomforts are pinpricks compared to their gaping, bleeding wounds.
2– what Jesus Christ suffered for me- and what I have in Him should be cause for celebration no matter what this life throws at me. For I have eternity with God to look forward to- a hope that should transcend all that occurs in my life.
But I lose sight of these things sometimes. I need to shift my focus on others rather than self- because that’s another danger in this line of thinking- it distracts us from being an effective servant for Christ.
We get tripped up being consumed with ourselves and our present trials- and we miss out on who God may be wanting to use us to love on and bring hope to- and that may be just what we need to get out of a “funk.” To just show a little love and tenderness to someone else who is hurting.
Even though it may fight against our own will (and pride), yet refusing to let pride keep us from saying we are sorry- truly- from our hearts- for the wrongs we have committed.
So I will leave you with my Psalm for the day- as I go to play Chutes and Ladders with my daughter. I hope and pray that it encourages you to take heart and hope in the Lord.
1 In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, LORD, my faithful God.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and be silent in the realm of the dead.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.
22 In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his faithful people!
The LORD preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.