Orchid Killer

Can I vent a little?  I am so FRUSTRATED.  I love orchids- they are such beautiful plants- but they are rather expensive.  They need special soil, special fertilizer, special humidity, special pot- but  I was willing to forgive them all this- to actually take on a high maintenance plant.  I bought all the necessary things to keep it alive….and it died.

Now, if that was the end of the story, well, maybe we could go on without a bitter epitaph aimed at the Orchid in question.  Extenuating circumstances push me to continue.  Yes, I admit it.  This year, in fact, only 3 short months ago- I bought a second orchid.

The latest orchid met its official demise today, but truth be told that Orchid was on death’s doorstep for at least a month.

 

English: Orchid, Kew Gardens, Surrey One of th...

Image via Wikipedia

 

What did I do wrong?  I know people who grow orchids by just throwing a few ice cubes in once a week and their plants are fine.  Seriously, I think this is personal.  These plants have a vendetta against me.

All joking aside, I am genuinely disappointed about this last orchid.  I really did try to keep you alive- I even danced around the kitchen singing “Staying Alive” when I first brought you home, hoping to cleanse myself of my previous failure.  I am the harbinger of death for orchids.

So, if you have an orchid plant you want dead, just bring it to me.

And if you value your orchid’s life- don’t let me near it.

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