My kids are sick. Let me tell you, there are few things that are worse than having to witness your own child throwing up and looking pale, drawn and miserable. It tears my heart out! I would much rather be sick myself- in fact, if it were an option- I would willingly be sick instead of them. Esp. my little guy, he is still so young and can’t tell me what he is feeling- oh, it makes me ache when I see him distressed.
It seems like I have been praying all day. Just whispered prayers- Lord please help me know what to do, or Lord please heal my children, or God I love them so much. It is so hard to make decisions about your child’s health- to know when they need to go to the doctor, to decide when to give medicine and how much and how often- I tend to not just follow the labels, but try to see what seems to be helping or what might relieve their discomfort most effectively.
But what helps me the most, what comforts me the most at times like this- is when I get a text from family saying that they are praying- or I just call my parents and then I know that they are lifting up their grandchildren in prayer. That comforts me when I am helpless to control the events in my life.
Since my husband and I had children, that has been one of the toughest adjustments for me- loss of control. It requires trusting in someone besides yourself- believing what they say and having faith in them to follow through. My husband is a wonderful father and a great support to me, but even greater still is my faith and trust in God. He holds me up when I feel like I can no longer stand- when I am cleaning up throw-up and desperately trying not to get sick myself and trying to stay calm to comfort my precious daughter- I feel Him there comforting me- fortifying me, giving me strength to be strong for those I love and am committed to serve.
At the end of this exhausting day, that is what brings me comfort, knowing that if I end up waking up in the middle of the night to tend to one of my children, He will be with me. He is watching over them even now- that brings me peace. And He will continue to guide me and give me wisdom as I take care of these precious little ones.